The year was 1945 and it was a tumultuous time for finances and personal investments. The markets were down; the country trying to recover from a debt-filled war with the world. Atomic bombs simply aren't as cheap as they used to be. A mild depression was setting over the populace like a sheet of thick fog, an economic crisis facing all but the most affluent of Americans. The Government seemed powerless and unwilling to step in and lend a hand. There was only one person making any headway; one person that could turn the whole situation around and make everything right again. His name was Skip Walker and he had returned.
You all know Skip Walker. He is a giant among midgets, a large man in a small town. Skip Walker cares for the needy but thinks that quadrapelegics are a little too demanding. Skip Walker spends all his free time in an orphanage hoping that he may finally be next on the adoption list. Skip Walker could use a good home. There hasn't been a paper towel invented yet that can stand up to the fury of Skip Walker. Skip Walker is a martial arts master who performs only in blackness and secrecy. Skip Walker resurrected Bruce Lee using the dark arts only to turn around and kill him again with a vicious judo chop to the throat. Skip Walker refused to give him a proper second burial.
Skip Walker could spend his whole paycheck at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but Skip Walker doesn't receive paychecks. Skip Walker is above money, earning or spending, because he still barters using clam shells and animal hides. Skip Walker wears moon boots anytime he leaves the house because he's tired of always letting gravity get him down. Skip Walker was the commander of a battleship that never left his bathtub. Skip Walker builds scarecrows in his spare time and gives them to those who are less fortunate as Christmas gifts. Unless you have something nice to say, it's advisable that you don't mention Skip Walker.
Skip Walker has graced more magazine and book covers than anyone else in the known universe but you wouldn't recognize him if he passed you on the street. Skip Walker refuses to mow the lawn regardless of how much you bitch and whine. Skip Walker doesn't do yardwork. Skip Walker would rather empty the ocean with a small bucket than give you a drink of fresh water. Skip Walker second guesses everything that he does. Or does he? Skip Walker once stole a video camera from Circuit City in an effort to make sure that the revolution would be televised but, unable to find one, Skip Walker wound up filming someone playing basketball instead. Skip Walker once lobbied congress to make it illegal for fat people to jump rope. Skip Walker thinks that they should know better.
Ben and Jerry approached Skip Walker and wanted to make a flavor of ice cream based on his life. Skip Walker said no and beat one of them to death with a competing brand. Skip Walker doesn't like the size of your marketshare and will tell you so in no uncertain terms. Skip Walker once sued Dr. Dre for malpractice. Skip Walker is concerned that the pepper dispenser at his local Carl's Jr. isn't getting its fair shake. Skip Walker once tried to mount a server in a rack of lamb and succeeded brilliantly. Skip Walker shaves with quicksand. Skip Walker is immortal but doesn't let that get in the way of a good death. Skip Walker once boycotted his own business because he felt that it was the right thing to do.
Skip Walker set up the first manned outpost on Mars and got in trouble after using it as an offshore tax haven. Skip Walker thinks that you're cute. Skip Walker would buy you lunch if it meant that he was going to get some action. It's that time of the month for Skip Walker. Skip Walker rides a white tiger wherever he goes because it gets better gas mileage than his jaguar. Tonight is the season premiere of Skip Walker and he has his Tivo set to record. Skip Walker is the centerfold of the magazine of life. Skip Walker has his own 800 number because he doesn't believe in making friends pay toll charges. Skip Walker was a drawbridge in another lifetime. If you rub Skip Walker in the right spot, he will grant you three wishes. Skip Walker knows bling.
You all know Skip Walker. He is a giant among midgets, a large man in a small town. Skip Walker cares for the needy but thinks that quadrapelegics are a little too demanding. Skip Walker spends all his free time in an orphanage hoping that he may finally be next on the adoption list. Skip Walker could use a good home. There hasn't been a paper towel invented yet that can stand up to the fury of Skip Walker. Skip Walker is a martial arts master who performs only in blackness and secrecy. Skip Walker resurrected Bruce Lee using the dark arts only to turn around and kill him again with a vicious judo chop to the throat. Skip Walker refused to give him a proper second burial.
Skip Walker could spend his whole paycheck at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but Skip Walker doesn't receive paychecks. Skip Walker is above money, earning or spending, because he still barters using clam shells and animal hides. Skip Walker wears moon boots anytime he leaves the house because he's tired of always letting gravity get him down. Skip Walker was the commander of a battleship that never left his bathtub. Skip Walker builds scarecrows in his spare time and gives them to those who are less fortunate as Christmas gifts. Unless you have something nice to say, it's advisable that you don't mention Skip Walker.
Skip Walker has graced more magazine and book covers than anyone else in the known universe but you wouldn't recognize him if he passed you on the street. Skip Walker refuses to mow the lawn regardless of how much you bitch and whine. Skip Walker doesn't do yardwork. Skip Walker would rather empty the ocean with a small bucket than give you a drink of fresh water. Skip Walker second guesses everything that he does. Or does he? Skip Walker once stole a video camera from Circuit City in an effort to make sure that the revolution would be televised but, unable to find one, Skip Walker wound up filming someone playing basketball instead. Skip Walker once lobbied congress to make it illegal for fat people to jump rope. Skip Walker thinks that they should know better.
Ben and Jerry approached Skip Walker and wanted to make a flavor of ice cream based on his life. Skip Walker said no and beat one of them to death with a competing brand. Skip Walker doesn't like the size of your marketshare and will tell you so in no uncertain terms. Skip Walker once sued Dr. Dre for malpractice. Skip Walker is concerned that the pepper dispenser at his local Carl's Jr. isn't getting its fair shake. Skip Walker once tried to mount a server in a rack of lamb and succeeded brilliantly. Skip Walker shaves with quicksand. Skip Walker is immortal but doesn't let that get in the way of a good death. Skip Walker once boycotted his own business because he felt that it was the right thing to do.
Skip Walker set up the first manned outpost on Mars and got in trouble after using it as an offshore tax haven. Skip Walker thinks that you're cute. Skip Walker would buy you lunch if it meant that he was going to get some action. It's that time of the month for Skip Walker. Skip Walker rides a white tiger wherever he goes because it gets better gas mileage than his jaguar. Tonight is the season premiere of Skip Walker and he has his Tivo set to record. Skip Walker is the centerfold of the magazine of life. Skip Walker has his own 800 number because he doesn't believe in making friends pay toll charges. Skip Walker was a drawbridge in another lifetime. If you rub Skip Walker in the right spot, he will grant you three wishes. Skip Walker knows bling.
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